top of page

😎👹🫣 stereotypes about enneagram types that aren't true 😬🤪

2’s aren’t intrusive and desperate for your love, you’re just pathetically out of touch with your own need for a deeper human connection and affection because your being is filled with a scarce void.

3’s are not social climbing hacks - you’re just jealous because while they’re making millions you’re rolling around on a mattress in your mom’s basement crying over a 2 day old, cold bucket of cheeto-coated hot wings.

4’s are not envious, miserable hags who want to shit on everyone and everything, you’re just unable to accept the repulsive truth about yourself and reality.

5’s are not withholding, walled off, avaricious nerds, you’re just too stupid and mundane to get on their level.

6’s are not shivering cowards waiting for daddy to tell them to do, you’re just projecting your uninformed fears about authority figures onto them because daddy used to spank you.

7’s are not vacuous, shallow or “empty” - you’re just not interesting or glorious enough to hold their attention.

1’s are not rigid, uptight perfectionists you’re just falling tragically short of any kind of personal standards that should be a basic requirement for existing on this planet.

9’s are not self-forgetting blobs who just want to merge into their surroundings and friends, they are EMPATHS and you just don’t see them and willfully misunderstand them

8’s do not have small dick energy… you just… have a way bigger dick than them.

(hate that i have to write this, but this is meant to be a joke)

bottom of page